A Different Breed of People

I'm not normally one to generalize or stereotype, but in the case of Coachella it's hard not to make assumptions about the types of people who go. I would say Coachella goers generally fall into five main categories: typical hipsters, intense druggies, confused foreign folk, the artsy outdoorsy type, and of course the people who are simply too drunk to function.


Typical Hipsters


Bluntly put by urban dictionary, a hipster can be defined as "An unwashed and ungroomed person who hates corporations and everything mainstream, yet still buys Apple products."


Hipsters are the most populated subgroup of Coachella, probably making up about 40% of all Coachella goers. (10% of these may be wipsters- wannabee hipsters, but don't even get me started on those kids.) Hipsters tend to oppose anything mainstream and would jump at any opportunity to protest against the government. They're often a little greasy and expressing some kind of attire that they believe to be "unique." 

This cool kid up here embodies all things hipster. But remember hipsters never acknowledge that they're hipster, cause that'd be too mainstream....


Intense Druggies


The sad thing about the intense druggies is that they basically miss out on three days of amazing music, simply because they're too messed up the whole time. These kids come to Coachella as just another place to roll ecstacy and smoke weed. Some people even do crazier drugs, like this poor guy....

Now he went a little too hard.


Confused Foreign Folk


Not surprisingly, people come from all over the world to go to Coachella. These adventerous people fall under my favorite subcategory of Coachella goers: the confused foreign folk.


A little crazy but always entertaining, most of these people have such a great outlook on life and free spirit. The first year I went to Coachella I met some nice Australian boys! They invited me to play volleyball with them in the grass and hang out. I thought they were pretty great until one of them offered me amphetamines... I politely declined.


The Artsy Outdoorsy Type


The people that fall under this category generally come to Coachella for the beautiful sculptures and interesting art. They enjoying camping and not showering for four days, as well as dancing alone and painting each other's faces with strange designs.


They like to stand out and pride themselves on being artistic and cultured, even if they aren't. The artsy ones are generally more independent and don't travel in herds like the hipsters. They like to enjoy the art and music, and dislike the drunk people disrupting them.


Too Drunk to Function


I'll just start out with this perfect example...

When it takes you one minute and 39 seconds to put your shoes on, you have a problem.


Coachella is sponsored by Heinken and Redbull, so people tend to get wasted off beer and Redbull vodkas. And when combined with long days and hundred degree weather it doesn't always end well. As entertaining as it is to see people like this stumbling, losing their friends, or trying to put their sandals on, you have to feel kind of sorry for them.


If you don't fall into one of these five groups, congratulations! You've beat the odds.